Here’s another first for the Haiku Chronicle podcast Submissions from twins!
Katryn and Veronica. You surely remember Veronica from episode 17?
Here we have their haiku:
Katryn,
early morn wake up
bacon and eggs on the stove
but where’s the coffee?
You’ll know why I was initially drawn to this when you hear the final haiku for today.
On reading it, I really like the use of the question in the final line. It added a new dimension to it. I feel more educational reading coming on.
and
Veronica
cereal in bowl
forgotten working on verse
leaves stomach empty
I know the feeling. Although in my case it used to be cereal left because I had to do the school run. It expresses an experience most people can identify with, don’t you think?
Next a haiku writer, new to the podcast.
Courtney O’Banion Smith. Based in the US, she is currently a stay at home Mum who plans to go back to teaching literature and writing when her youngest son starts school. I asked her about her thoughts on the haiku form. Her submitted haiku had taken the 5/7/5 form and I was interested to know if she had ever experimented. to which she replied: “I typically am a traditionalist in that regard. However, as a writer of haiku and senryu, I enjoy nontraditional approaches to the form, and I’m not a stickler when it comes to content. I see the 5-7-5 syllabic restriction as a frame that dictates and inspires the poem. It’s the beginning and the end of the poem. For me, the goal is to simultaneously make the frame beautiful and make the reader forget it’s there. Like a designer uses a mannequin, I can hang only so much on the frame before the piece becomes gaudy or overwrought. I also enjoy playing with sounds in my haiku, which is hard to pull off within such a tight structure without coming across as pedantic or sentimental.”
We virtually discussed this haiku:
This is the original:
brown toast crumbs fall from
the blue bud unfurling in
the shiny white plate
I could easily see the toast crumbs falling from the bud, both metaphorically and in actuality. It was superbly visual. After our interaction Courtney revisited her haiku and sent me this:
on the plate, a blue
bud unfurls—
toast crumbs
which I think I actually prefer, because I can exercise my imagination a little more, yet I get the same result. What do you think?
And here is another of Courtney’s haiku:
Chatter of boys at the
breakfast table, squirrels and
birds at the feeder
I felt I was sitting at her table, half listening to the chatter of the boys and enjoying the view through the window to the feeder. I could feel Courtney’s love of both her family and nature coming through very strongly. Can you?
If you would like to read more from Courtney you can find her Chapbook, Abundance by clicking here
Now we are off to Australia to visit Giddy. I have never tried vegemite, but a couple of my children have spent time in Australia and tell me it is very like marmite, a staple in the UK, which you either love or hate. I love it.
Australia
an iconic breakfast
vegemite on toast
and here we join Giddy at the breakfast table
marmalade jam
a favourite on toast
coffee aroma
last but not least, off to South Africa. I read this one line haiku on google plus and asked Gabri Rigotti if I could use it. Happily he agreed. It was not written to the topic of breakfast, but it reminded me of walking up to my mum and dad’s house on a Sunday morning, after I had left home. There would always be a traditional full Irish breakfast on the go, with a strong bacon aroma. So this touched my heart…
morning stroll there is bacon in the air
Thank you to all my guests this week.
